I recently started a book club with my partner and her cousin, and our first book was "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz. I enjoy book clubs because they expose me to new books and get me to read things I would normally not read. We finished the book and had a positive conversation about its key ideas. In this post, I want to share my thoughts on the book.
"The Four Agreements" is a practical and enlightening book that explores the concept of personal freedom through the lens of ancient Toltec wisdom. The book outlines four agreements that one can make with oneself to achieve a life of happiness, love, and freedom. These agreements are the following:
The book was easy to grasp and I thoroughly enjoyed it. While reading it, I could not help but connect many of its ideas to key concepts of Hinduism. Growing up in a Hindu family, my parents gave me some very specific philosophies and views of life. And as I started to create (and still am creating!) my own personal philosophy of life, I see that the four agreements are a fantastic framework on which to become the best version of oneself. Below, I would like to address my thoughts on each of the four agreements one by one.
On Agreement #1: Be impeccable with your word.
This is the first agreement and forms the base for the others. However, I think we can take it a step back. It all starts with impeccable thought rather than word. The famous quote by Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu sums up my view on this quite aptly: Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.
On Agreement #2: Do not take anything personally.
This is a really difficult one! As human beings we are social animals. We value social relationships to such an extent that they become an extension of ourselves, and consequently, our self-identity is closely tied to how others perceive us. For this, it is a common human tendency to take things personally. But it would serve us quite well not to take things personally. I see this idea as the idea of detachment and non-attachment, a fundamental concept of Hindu philosophy. By not being attached, we protect ourselves from unnecessary pain.
On Agreement #3: Do not make assumptions.
Not making assumptions is a useful and important life tip. We must not rely on assumptions but rather, the truth. This relates to the Hindu mantra satyameva jayate, translated as truth alone triumphs. If we base our decisions and actions on assumptions, we put ourselves at the risk of losing the truth. And if we lose the truth, we will lose everything. So, it is better to not make assumptions!
On Agreement #4: Always do your best.
I was not the best student growing up. Whenever I would tell my mom that I did not get a good grade for an exam or assignment, she would reply with the following: It does not matter what you got. As long as you did your best, that is good enough. The notion of not focusing on the end result but rather on the effort one puts into something is truly powerful. I try to always do my best with whatever I do. And if I feel I have done my best, I have put myself in a position where I will not feel bad regardless of the outcome.
In summary, "The Four Agreements" provides practical tips for personal growth that complement and build upon timeless and universal messages found in ancient philosophies around the world. Anyone wanting a simple yet effective framework though which to improve personally and spiritually should read this book.